30.4.11 end of relationship and start with friendship

how would i say? i have no comment speechless....this is ur desicions but luckly we still are friends....maybe not too bad....

very first time i can cried untill headach...but after crying i think i will be better....just now look back for all of the photo we have...from trip photo..then we become couple...many friends are happy that we become couple...then we have many photo after we dating...1st time u cook for me photo...

unfortutenally, all of this now is just a memory for me and you...1 years 3 months and 14 days relationship END!!! how i can start? i do i live without you...

i think i will miss you..to miss the feeling when inside ur hug...to miss the feeling i looking at you..to miss the feeling u are kissing me..to miss a lot a lot..........


thank you for all of our friends always blessing us before ^^ but ...this is our ended..maybe 1 day we will couple back? maybe not....its hard to say.... dont worry,i feel happiness before..yes...really happiness...i should not so greedy right?
zz treat me already very good..at least he quite sayang me ..sayang untill some of girl also feel jealous, sweet untill some of girl jealous...hahhaha...

you are always my ah jack dar dar...i will continue to call u dar dar in my heart..FOREVER...

i miss you

how are you?
recently how? your working problem already solve?
have u hit ur target?
recently u seems like very late just online...
i very miss you!
hmmm....i hope we can back to sweet sweet before...i worry that i cant focus for my test...i need ur support to me..like before the way u encourage me...i need u....i cant loss anyone i love the most again....

i really dun want loss any things again (T.T)...hug hug you~

The words i said before " Waiting For You"

ONE sentences, " im waiting for you" need a lot of courage jz can say it out...it need more encourage to voice out compare with to say "i LOVE u".....not every bf or gf willing spend their time waiting for u and not all of the people worthy to let you waiting for......

the sentences " im waiting for you" including unlimited love,endure,helpless and hope!

my dear jack, this is the 1st time i spend so much courage to you...i dun want u feel sorry to me...i jz want we can keep continue...chat together, play together...go to trip together, talk many nonsense together...

i can let u go to find ur next happiness....but i want u measure that...your new relationship is a long term relationship :)

but i will CURSE you wont meet any other girls who will make you feel like wants love her more than me!!! dun forget babe, im EVIL SOOSOO....naugthy than you! hey hey~

today....i bring my Panda eyes go to school!!! xD hahahahhaha....when looking at mirror get a shock ~

today u working till 11pm huh..i think i cannot wait till so late or i will dizzy ya...

i hope still can sudden remember me today....

waiting

maybe i start to forgot what is happy and happiness...
maybe i start to close with tears, sad and heart pain...
since "i lost u"

how can i find back? how could i help u find back ur missing feeling?
why not u can't understand that becoz of love we just will argue? it's too late to let u know....

when i saw couple they stick together...i will think that such happiness and sweet moment i have before!but now gone...just becoz of last time argue...
i really cant accept that our relationship able to be so brittle! OMG... the pray i done before not occur!?

it that so easy to find back the feeling?i dun think so...i only know i willing to give u times and waiting for u...

i'm waiting u turn ur head back and look at me...
i'm waiting u to hold my hands tight again...
i'm waiting u use ur love to hug and kiss me...
i'm waiting u to tell me: dear, i love you so much!
i'm waiting u to worry me again and again...
i'm waiting u smile in front of phone when we sms...
i'm waiting u to say a lot of things to me...let me know more about u...
i'm waiting u when u and me online we still can have a chat..if we can webcame again we will do weird weird action for each other....
i'm waiting u watch ghost movie together with me so u will hug me tight and see how many popcorn throw in the cinema after the movie ended...
i'm waiting u enjoy the spicy chickenchop with me...
i'm waiting u help me find back my happiness....

yes, im still waiting....

miss and missing

i miss the way we chat about our future plan...u say u will help me take care BB and clean the house after working..

i miss the way when i at SG, u can miss me untill text message to me...say how much u miss me..i will smile to the phone

i miss the way u always holding my hand

i miss the way when we chat on msn.. hug hug , fly kiss...

i miss the way u try to spend more time accompany me even u feel tired and chat with me just becoz i going back SG soon...

i miss that u will automatic find me if i din find on that day...

i miss the way u worry me...

i miss the phone ring and show ur contact number...

i miss the place we meet when we still not couple yet...

i miss the confidence u have for we will couple, sweet sweet love and love forever

i miss ur mole ..so that u can hide ur handsome and then i no need too worry that other girls come can tackle u...or u tackle them...

i miss the day i beside u to cellebrate ur birthday, my birthday, Arpil fool...

i miss the day when we at the same trip.....

i missing u ............but now i know u may say...MAYBE SOMETIMES u just will miss me~

bye, grandma :)

bye bye grandma, rest in peace!
i hope in ur next life able to have filial piety....
i think one of my dream will never come true that is after i buy a house then can live together with you :)

today my eyelips keep jumping, i was thinking that wat will happen today...then i get a call from home saying that u are already pass away...when 4pm

recently i jz recall back what u did to me...touch my hair and sayang me...ask me want study hard...ask me want helping mom clean the things...

recently u are become weaker and more weaker...last time i fed u eat the fish porrige u can eat until sleeping! you are scaring me and mom that u are already pass away......but now u are really leave from this world!

it so fast to me...becoz today i just asking about how to take the Compassionate leave ..then u really pass away!actually i feel a bit peaceful when heard u pass away...becoz u are not suffering anymore..u no need live at that kind of fucking place! no need suffering that how the people treat u not nice! you no need angry that u cannot move!u not feel sad that most of ur son dun want u...u will realif from all of the suffering of your life! it is good for u , i think...

but...i also feel not bear to let u leave from this world...becoz u are my grandma ...a very very good grandma :)pls remember my boyfriend, ah jack also! and blessing us becoz he is a good guy to me...i think he will like you...very sayang me, will worry me..and take care me like how u take care of ur grandchild before :)

i love u...i dunno how to say out before,i hope ur soul can read my heart

15th months~

every things to be alright i think...im so happy now....my zz is back ...but i found out there is soem different! i realise that he won't hold my hand all the times again, he not always say that words to me again...so i hope i can found it back soon!

yesterday is my very 1st time cook the chicken ham for him! hahahahha, i think the food not bad loh~ im soosoo leh! sure can do it well ^^ hahahaha~i feel happiness when he beside me...every thing also make me feel happy~ moreover, i want to thx his mother buy the shirt for me! suddently have many cloths to wear~ woohoo!!!

i will try my best and do my best to maintain this relatioship....dar dar say, i have think about break up before...actually i also but if really want to break ..i really cannot do it and cannot accept....becoz we couple so long..and i put a lot of effort in thins srealtionship...how can let it so easy to break?

i dunnno what dar dar thnking now...but i hope you wont really want to break or think again~ i remember we promise that...want to celebrate many Anniversary!

my heart sick

actually i suppose to be happy today....becoz the IEP friends ..they so kind and funny! and the staff over there give me some presents so that i think i feel happy when together with them...somemore, they treat us pizza!

i feel like want to share with my zz...i want to share the happy with him! i want tell him the things...but before i tell him all the story he say some thing to hurt me....

oh Gosh, my hurt sick sia.....how to cure? no any medicine can cure it....only he can cure ....i dunno why he can change so fast! sunday still is my dearest zz...still so gentlement to me...but today it seems like is another person!
what happen!? izit have another take away my position? wat happen..it so suddently!

i dunno what to do...other than write in out...i already sit in front of pc 1 hr ago...and keep crying....besides crying..still is crying......

this 1 week...everyday i was crying...untill today i tot will be better....but still crying..haiz, my eyes going to swollen liao....

:(

i hope i will not back to the day before...the day i being betray....it sucks!i dun want back to before ... i tot i already found my happiness...i dun want back to 7 years before...No...i really dun want!

last day at clinic!

woohoo~ today wear formal shirt and become a very small nurse~hahaha~ this is my very 1st time working together with IEP friends~ we all are very enjoy~ and the doctors are very funny!! one of the doctor he wear too "fashion", one of the doctor wear too "outdate"...and one of the doctor she talking with me will very close to me~~~hahahhaa...i alomst cannot respond to her...everytime need 1 minutes ago jz can make respond to her >< becoz she so close to me~holding my hand and talking with me~

i feel like all the doctors have different style ..and the the style are very weird! hahahhha...but they make me feel it is a Fun clinic~~~and the stuff over there are very warm, very take care all of us~ we can play and keep taking photo together~ i will miss u guys~~ LILY,MEI YOKE...some of the name can't remember...but i remember ur look~

today also have a lot of snack to eat~ all are expensive one~~~oh.....enjoy~



this is my look in the clinic, my hair got a bit messy xD

i very scare after i know something ...

pls dun take away all the things i like the most!
my grandma...my bf.....

i dunno what to do.....

i dun get ur concern when i 1st day of sick...

recently many people also sick including me...omg...i not feeling very very suffering ...the most suffering part is...i never get your any concern....it make me more suffering.....ya,really....i never cry since we argue for the 1st 2 week...but now i really cry...hahaha...finally can cry out...maybe when i sick is the moment of the most weakness period....

maybe im silly...like this also can cry...but i already try my best become tough but still fail...

2 weeks ago, i never find me and want to talk to me...i start feel that u are not really concern about me edi...before, u can very worry me ...even i did not reply u , u straigh away call me and find me or u find my closer friend i order to find me...

but now...i think u wont like before already right? becoz u think im a tough girl :)
never mind....but...u must take care urself ok? i not dare post the concern on you status...i think maybe u dun like this kind of concern anymore...you no need my concern anymore...haha....even you feel annoying if i send to you....

today at workplace a girl suddently ask my sir's name ..she make me stuck for a couple of secondsc xD she even know my dad's nama and where he work! the 1st moment i though she is a stalker and stalk me all the way!!! when she found me, her expressin very happy and holding her phone talk with her mon , said SHE FOUND ME !!! hahahahhaha....can u imagine that, my face a lot of questions mark !!! who the hell is tis girl!!!??? hahahaha...finally i know that my dad and her mom are peer....but she looking for me , she want to know me and her mom talk about me also ==' hahaha...i seems like is a small super star sia ~~~

the IEP i join is around more than 1 months ago, i feel very happy and lucky i can have a lot of crazy freinds!!! they really crazy! everyday we have things to laught..is is excellent when work together with them! tomorrow is my very 1st time go to clinic and work, i have a little bite nervous !!! becoz i dunno how i should work ...i think quite a lot of things i need to learn :) hey, just learning ~ its fun!!!


recently have sad mood...still quarrel with dar dar.... this time, it take longer time to quarrel! haiz....dar dar, im not angry that u say u want go find a new gf i jz angry....im jz too angry and then anyhow link it together and burst it out.....actually i really piss off that when we webcame but u focus on ur TV!!!! may it jz nothing important to you when u showing this attitude..but i very care about it!!! becoz we can't always have chance to chat on msn ..so i really really cherish the moment when u online and chat with me! when these things happened..it give me confidence, becoz it remind me ...i still have a lover still remember me still take me as important inside your heart! i will feel more confidence for this relationship....so,webcame and msn with you is not just want to in touch with you, it also give me confidence couple with especially when i was stayed at SG....

dar dar, i also don't mind that you watching TV...but when you want watch TV just focus it , ok? i don't mind u jz only msn with me ..as long as we are happy in chating then i satisfied already...but you know that day ur attitude really make me very angry....

i dont't like that you open webcame but you keep focus to watch your show! if like this why not you just dun open it and just msn with me? you know how i feel uncomfortable when u do that? maybe you dun think that it will make ppl feel uncomfortable and it is nothing...but im not you.....i will feel uncomfortable..i will feel im not in ur eyes already...i feel dun have confidence.....i very care about ur eyes contact :( i very worry there have some changing on you and i lose you....

i hope u can know if you alreeady come back to my blog.......when you come back here again? Jack...

yummy~~~ today is my 1st time enjoy buffer at singapore!!!OMG, Parkroyal Hotel(4 star hotel)!!! the food damn nice wor!!! i eat until very tight!!!! have shushi, bbq,desert also!!! soooo lucky can enjoy the free buffer!hahaha, wait me upload those yummy food ya!!!



ummmm...couple with zz already 15 months ago..but now i become no confidence compare with before...today when we webcame, u just glue to TV, not really look at me...izit i not pretty enough :(...i very care ur every action and the words u did and said to me...every single words....anywhere,i really piss off of you today....this weeki din back to hometown and today is only the day and chance to online msn..but ....why u keep watch ur TV, long time no see u edi..jz let me see ur handsome face also cannot meh? haiz.....and how long u never come and read my blog already??? :/